remanth:

bronzedragon:

tomfelton-andthe-cumber-cocks:

strawberriesandjane:

funsizedfox:

“they won’t let me eat,wont let me sleep..”

“who?”

“…..them.”

Oh.

I AM CRYING

I remember reading about how EA was trying to sell the rights to make The Sims into a movie and everyone was like “…how?”

Now I get it

It’s a horror movie

People wake up one day to find themselves transformed into puppets of an invisible malicious trickster god

First the bizarre happenings start:

someone becomes obsessed with stealing lawn gnomes

another person has a compulsion to stick their head into a strange device and emerges obsessed by grilled cheese sandwiches

people pee themselves despite being next to a bathroom because some mysterious unseen force makes them study cleaning

people find themselves stuck in rooms because they can’t step over common household objects

a young man doing some nighttime stargazing mysteriously vanishes

then their god turns sadistic

pool ladders mysteriously vanish, leading to several drownings

doors vanish just as a house fire begins

an elevator plummets several stories as a couple starts to get it on

a Murphy Bed gruesomely folds up, crushing the people inside

and that man who vanished while stargazing returns…but with something growing inside of him…and vague memories of a grotesque creature named Pollination Technician

the horror has begun

This sounds like a Supernatural episode with Gabriel as the culprit.

(via caswearsafeznow)

fuckingrecipes:

SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP PUTTING ICE CUBES IN YOUR LEMONADE. YOU WANT FIX YOUR WATERY LEMONADE? ADMITTING THERE’S A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP TO STOP BEING A PUSSY, AND MOVING ON TO BEING A MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKER. 

GET SOME FRUIT.

BLUEBERRIES, STRAWBERRIES, PEACHES, LEMONS, LIMES, FUCK I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE PAPAYA OR MANGO! GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND PUNCH SOME BUSHES UNTIL IT CRIES FOR MERCY AND HANDS YOU YOUR GODDAMN FRUIT. 

BERRIES YOU CAN JUST SHOVE INTO THE ICEBOX AND GO CONQUER A COUNTRY WHILE YOU WAIT A DAY FOR IT TO FREEZE.

PEACHES AND NECTARINES, FUCK, YOU CAN EAT THE DAMN SKIN ON THOSE! TAKE OUT THAT MACHETE YOU KEEP IN YOUR BACK POCKET, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHEN A DINOSAUR COULD COME KNOCKING AND MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO BE PREPARED, THEN HACK THAT DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER INTO SLICES. 

NOW PUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS IN YOUR FREEZER. 

YOU’RE A CITRUS KINDA ASSHOLE? 

TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR CITRUS AND RECYCLE THAT SHIT! SAVE THE WHALES, YOU HARCORE MOTHERFUCKER. 

I BET YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, WITH THE FREEZER. 

FUCK. 

WHEN YOUR FRUIT IS FROZEN, USE THEM INSTEAD OF ICE CUBES TO KEEP YOUR DRINK AS COLD AS A SNOWMAN’S FROSTY DICK, AND MAKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR MAYBE ONLY YOUR PETS SAY ‘WOW WHAT A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER’

IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC TYPE OF SHITHEAD, YOU CAN PUT YOUR FROZEN-ASS FRUIT INTO RUM OR VODKA OR SOME SHIT. 

NOT ONLY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A COLD, FLAVORED DRINK, BUT YOU’LL GET YOUR DAILY SERVINGS OF FRUIT. YOU SNEAKY LITTLE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS ASSHOLE. 

TASTES LIKE GODDAMN VICTORY, THAT’S WHAT.

(via awiccanfromdetroit)

futureconflicted:

i-am-mishafuckingcollins:

ahaha-hahaha-no:

bowtiesarecool4:

this-is-just-what-loki-wants:

themishacollins:

Let’s play a game called: Actual Supernatural line or not?

Does this mean we can finally clear up the origin of THIS line?

They’re both real lines

And the infamous:

(Source: acrownfitforaking, via the-sociopaths-have-the-bluebox)

lahzy:

never.

(Source: itgetsbettermylove, via the-sociopaths-have-the-bluebox)

the-fandoms-are-cool:

the-drug-child:

i love this more then i really should

JESUS CHRIST WHY ARE WASPS HIGHER ON THE LIST THAN PRISONERS

PRISONERS AT LEAST HAVE THE CAPACITY TO SIT POLITELY AND CONGRATULATE YOU WASPS ARE THE PHYSICAL INCARNATION OF METATRON’S DICK FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS WITH NO LUBE

(Source: noirluis)